Grace

We had quite a lively discussion yesterday morning as our Thursday study group continued to tease apart the story of the Prodigal Son. As discussions often do, ours became wide-ranging and a bit off track. At one point, Elizabeth asked us to consider God's grace....what grace means to us. That question brought back the very clear memory of a similiar discussion several years ago in a Methodist adult Sunday School class. The topic was grace and the workbook we were using explained the three types of grace: justifying, sustaining and prevenient. This made made no sense to me and actually pushed me onto my current path of making sense of God in simpler ways and by simpler definitions. I Googled grace this morning and found even more confusing defintions of it: actual grace, common grace, free grace, irresistible grace. Too complicated for my simple mind! So, I ponder....what does grace mean to me? My answer: grace is my awareness of God's presence in my life. It can be seeing this cross in Cenevieres and remembering God. It can be hearing the bells calling villagers to Mass and remembering God's call to me. It can be that feeling of contentment as I snuggle into bed at night knowing that once again God has blessed me this day with family and friends, home and health, warm sunshine and green growing things. I am aware that His grace surrounds me always; that all I am and all I have comes from Him. And that I don't have to earn His blessings...to have His grace in my life, I only have to be aware that I am His.

Living Into Relationship With God

I"ve been thinking a lot this past week about my invitation to live in relationship with God. We talked about this in the Thursday morning study group: how God invites us through Christ into a relationship with Him. Of course, I accept this invitation and feel blessed by it. But...what exactly does a relationship with God look like? My wonderings took me to the various relationships in my life. I have casual relationships with people in my community, i.e. shopkeepers, the postmaster, the guy at the gas station. They are based on respect and being cordial. I have friends and acquaintances; those relationships are based on this as well adding a sense of caring, some common interests, being friendly. I have a handful of deep friendships that take this even further with compassion, the love of agape, support, acceptance. Familial relationships run the gamut of the love of siblings, parents, children, and grandchildren....unconditional love, loyalty, feelings of wonder and joy, support that elevates to "I'd do anything for my child, parent, brother, granddaughter." Family relationships tolerate the messiness of life and celebrate the pure joy of being together. Family relationships that tolerate dissent and disagreement; that at the end of the day are relationships that gather everyone around the table to share in a common life.

So where does a relationship with God fit in? I think this snippet from John 21:1-19 that Mary preached from last weekend gives me a clue: "That disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, "It is the Lord!" When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on some clothes, for he was naked, and jumped into the sea. Yes, exuberant Peter ran to the Lord! But being eager for this spiritual relationship is not the clue. We all know that often Peter didn't 'get it.' He was so human...just like me. He denied, he was ashamed, he felt unworthy. So he felt he had to 'put on some clothes, for he was naked' before he approached his Lord. Peter illustrates what takes a relationship with God far beyond even the unconditionally loving relationship we have with family...it asks us to let ourselves be naked and vulnerable before God, to strip away all the false selves, the defenses, the wants and desires of the world that we surround ourselves with and come to God as His precious child, His creation. To accept that God loves us just as we are, without our 'clothes.' To know that He, unlike anyone else in our lives including family, is totally trustworthy, always loyal, ever present. To accept that God knows us like no other, that with Him we don't need excuses or defenses; that with Him we don't even need words. Relationship with God is love and compassion, unconditional love, joy, community, acceptance and support. And it goes far beyond those things. It asks us to be in relationsip with God totally stripped and vulnerable, knowing we are safe within His care.

Now...the Rest of the Story

Easter Sunday has passed. We've walked through the times of hosannas and the times of sadness. We've supped with Jesus, broken bread, and washed feet. We've watched him be flogged, crucified, mocked...then laid in the tomb. The Cross is empty and so is the tomb. The Easter story has ended. Or has it? As Easter people, our story is just now beginning.  We walk away from the cross and out into the world. Now is the time to live the rest of the story as Christ taught; to love God and to love our neighbors. I like to think this fisherman that I saw along the Mediterranean coast last September was starting out on his journey to 'fish for men,' just as Christ instructed his disciples. Christ has invited us into a relationship with God, the Father. Now is the time to accept that invitation, to leave Easter and live in relationship with God in the world.

The Road to Easter

I've spent the past two days pondering the road I walked this year to Easter. For the first time, I'm not planning my life around a work schedule, so I took this opportunity to plan my life around the Holy Week services at my church. I attended and read at the "Journey to the Cross" service on Wednesday. I participated in the Maundy Thursday service. Good Friday found me at the "Stations of the Cross" service at noon and then back to church at 7pm that evening for Tenebrae, a service of readings and music. As that service ended, the altar was stripped bare, all the candles were extinguished and the congregation left in darkness and silence. Saturday night I returned for the 8pm Easter Vigil. Again with stories and sung liturgy we were moved through the Easter story. Then with great fanfare....trumpets and glorious music by the choir... the altar was redressed, the candles were lit, the lights came up, we were blessed by sacred incense and purified by sprinkled Holy Water. Easter arrived....Alleluia! We then celebrated with champagne and treats in the Parish Hall. More than once during this week of stories and song, I was moved to tears at the tenderness and passion of the journey to the Cross. More than once, I was touched by light moving into darkness and back into the Light once again. For the first time in my faith life, I felt both the pain and the joy of Easter. I'm thankful for the unique combinations of events that made this walk to Easter possible.

The photo is of a drawing done by a parishoner of St.Timothy's altar, cross and bricks.

Giving and Receiving

"Jesus....got up from the table, took off his outer robe, and tied a towel around himself. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples' feet and to wipe them with the towel that was tied around him." These verses from John 13 were the basis for last evening's Maundy Thursday service. After Elizabeth's homily on servanthood, humility and loving one another, we all had the opportunity to come forward to have our feet washed and to wash the feet of another. It was a powerful moment of both giving and receiving in love. Being a nurse, it wasn't hard for me to wash the feet of another; I've done that hundreds of times. For me, it was much harder to receive this loving gift from someone else. How many times do I put up barriers to receiving? How often have I refused to ask for help, for what I need, for a loving kindness? Have I ever rejected an act done out of love and caring? Yes, serving others can be inconvenient, unpleasant and hard. Receiving service and love from others can be infinitely more difficult.