Holy Saturday

It's Holy Saturday. The cross is empty. Outside it's raining; the skies are heavy and gray. I read the service for this day in my Book of Common Prayer. There are no hymns of joy, there are no prayers of the people. We pray only the Lord's Prayer. The focus this day is Christ. It's a day of mourning for him, and a day of awaiting his resurrection tomorrow. It's a day to think about him, his suffering and his sacrifice, not about my worries and wants. As I meditate on Sainte Foy's flickering candle, I sense that even her normally exuberant self is subdued and quiet this day. She, with all the other saints and angels of heaven, will spend these last hours of Holy Week mourning the earthly death of Christ by sitting in quiet meditation and prayer. The angel choir will not sing today; the saints will not march. On this day heaven holds its breath and waits with me for the joy that comes in the morning.

A Mother's Suffering

This is Holy Week. All my devotions ask me to pray about the suffering of Jesus during this time. While I can do that intellectually, it isn't until I pray about Jesus' mother, Mary, that my heart breaks wide open and the tears flow...

 As a mother, I can feel the joy she must have felt as he preached, as his ministry spread. She can feel his exhaustion and knows how dangerous his ideas are to others. I know how she longs to comfort him, to hold his hand while he prayed. I can sorrow with her in the understanding that not one of his friends will stay awake and pray with him. But his mother would. Mothers are always on-call for comfort and support. She would say to him...'you rest now; I'll keep watch over you as I did when you were a baby' ....fully knowing there is nothing she can do to prevent the events of this week unfolding. I am angry and indignant with her as she watches him being scourged and tormented and mocked...her child! How dare they do that to him! I flinch with her and my gut tightens as we listen to each nail being pounded in. Oh, the agony! And I can weep with her as she stands by the cross watching the life fade from his eyes as he gives up himself to his heavenly Father.

Mary, who unlike us, doesn't know the rest of the story until she hears the rumors on Sunday. The tomb is empty; He has risen!

As God's servant, she rejoices. But as Jesus' mother, she still weeps bitter tears, and I weep with her. He is gone forever from her life. She will never hug him or lean on his arm for support again.  Never again will he sit at her table to share a meal and later talk with her of his dreams, his ideas, and his Father's plan for him. There will be no grandchildren; no daugher-in-law to help her in her old age. Jesus will not be there to hold her hand and weep for her when she dies. There is an empty place in her heart that will never again be filled...in this life

But today, Maundy Thursday, she does not yet know all this. All she knows is that tonight, Jesus will share the Passover meal with his friends, his disciples. They will break bread, drink wine, say the prayers and sing the songs. He will not eat at her table tonight for already he belongs to the world.

A mother weeps and suffers.

Easter Morning

Morning dawns. The tomb is empty.

Light from dark. Hope from despair.

Joy from sorrow. New life from death
.
Resurrection.

His throne awaits at the right hand of our Father.

Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!



 
 
Photo: St. Etienne Cathedral, Cahors, France
March 2, 2011

Easter Art and Music

I've been away from St. Timothy's and my faith community for both of the holiest celebrations of the church year...Christmas and Easter. Being on my own, though, has made me dig even deeper to find ways to connect with my faith. I've used online resources to keep me in touch spiritually....retreats, devotionals, study groups. Yesterday I shared praying the Stations of the Cross with Mary. Today, I prayed the Stations with another web-based Jesuit community called Pray As You Go. Each of the  10 Stations are illustrated with a piece of Renaissance art and beautiful sacred music along with a Jesuit contemplation and prayer. It's interesting to me that I was touched differently by these two different websites. Each, though, was deeply meaningful. This Station called "The Good Thief" was my favorite on this site.

Stations of the Cross With Mary

This year my Lenten discipline has been to "Pray Lent" every day with the Creighton University Online Ministries site. Although not Episcopalian (Creighton is a Jesuit Catholic university), the liturgy and lessons are similiar, and I've been comforted, challenged, and inspired by these daily devotions. Lent is over. It is now the Holy Days of the Paschal mystery. Today being Good Friday seems the right time to pray the Stations of the Cross.This year I've chosen to pray them with Mary, Mother of Jesus. As a mother, to see the crucifixion of Jesus through Mary's eyes has been a powerful and moving experience for me. What mother can't relate to the feelings and emotions she must have had as she watched her beloved son mocked and scorned, beaten and finally crucified unto death? I invite you to pray the Stations with Mary. Click here to access the Creighton site.