I listened to a tele-conference last night that is facilitated by my friends, Deb and Rita. It was one in a series based on "The Course in Miracles." This one was about finding one's purpose in life. The statement that hit home with me was: There is love and there is fear. Only one is real and that's love. If it's God's purpose for me to be happy, then absolutely the only thing that's real is love. Fear keeps me from happiness; love encourages happiness. My last blog entry referenced a ministry that I've been asked to accept. I meet with Elizabeth this afternoon to discuss what mentoring a young Confirmand will require of me. I think God spoke to me last evening through Deb and Rita's presentation on purpose. I will view this decision through the eyes of love, not fear. And I will be back to let you know what my decision is.



Photo: Mount of the Holy Cross in Colorado taken last week.

Strengthen Me...

"Strengthen me, O Lord, with your holy spirit..."
Elizabeth has asked me to do a really hard thing. She would like me to sign on as an adult sponsor for one of the young confirmands currently studying to become a confirmed member of the Episcopal Church next May. Being a sponsor would mean meeting with my confirmand a half dozen times during the next few months, engaging them in conversation about their faith (Elizabeth will provide me with the 'conversation-starter' questions) and attending a church service with him/her at a church other than an Episcopal one. I can certainly make the time to do this. So what's the big deal?? The idea of working with kids and being a faith role model terrifies me! Although I love kids, their curiosity, their energy..I've never thought of myself as being particularly good at relating to them. I keep having flashbacks to teaching Jr.-Sr. Sunday school class when Sunni and Scott were in those grades. It was SO hard and I vowed to never put myself thru that misery again! Middle school was a hard time with Travis...I wasn't sure either of us would survive his 'smart mouth' so typical of those early teen years. And, I keep hearing echoes of past criticism of my skills with kids from someone whom I believed was correct in his assessment. Then there's my almost total lack of knowledge about what it means to be Episcopal...actually the kids could teach me a lot! I've thought about this; I've prayed about it. Elizabeth and I will talk about whether I'm the right person for this service to God, for this ministry. In the meantime, I'll continue to ask God for His direction.

Abbey of the Arts

I've added a blog to the list of the ones I follow. It's called "Abbey of the Arts" and is written by a woman who is a Benedictine oblate and holds a PhD in Christian Spirituality. She also does Spiritual Direction. I loved reading through past blog entries and clicking through the links to other articles she's written on topics such as sacred poetry, art and spiritual practice, and praying with music. I think art adds a richness and depth to any spiritual practice. Beauty speaks to my senses and involves me in ways that feel visceral. Certain notes on the violin move me to tears, certain colors create a physical reaction deep in my center. During worship the rhythm of the liturgy, the visual feast of flickering candles and colorful vestments, and the fragrance of incense helps me feel God's presence in ways that words alone do not. When I have the opportunity to hear sacred music played or sung, I am filled with the Spirit. What a gift and a blessing to be able to create art and beauty to celebrate the glory of God!

The 'Blessing' of the Holy Spirit

This is Pentecost Sunday. The Lesson reading during last evening's service was from Acts 2:1-21. It relates the coming of the Holy Spirit to those gathered. and says in part: "All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other languages, as the Spirit gave them ability." And later in this passage the author references ancient Hebrew writings that proclaim, "God declares, that I will pour out my Spirit upon all flesh, and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams." This sounds like an idyllic way to live, doesn't it...knowing the future, seeing visions, dreaming dreams? Yet, Mary's homily put a different face on this blessing of the Holy Spirit. In a voice thickened with emotion, she told us of her last conversation with Father Samuel Peni, our friend and visitor from the Sudan, as they breakfasted before he and his wife left for their long trip home. Fr. Samuel is blessed by the Spirit; God has led him by the Spirit to speak out for peace and reconciliation within his war-torn homeland, the Sudan. He speaks to bring an end to the violence, the killings, the fear there and to reconcile all within God's love. And as Mary said, this has made him a 'marked man.' His life will be in danger every moment when he returns home. He could be killed by enemies who don't embrace his mission of peace. It's hard to imagine what life would be like when a walk home from church or out to your farm fields could be filled with the real possibility of death, just because you have been blessed by the Spirit with a vision of peace. For me today, it's easy to celebrate Pentecost and God's outpouring of the Spirit to his people. For Fr. Peni who has also received this gift from God, the joy of Pentecost has an entirely different meaning.

For a Friend

I learned this week that an old friend has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and given 6 months to live. This is not a person with whom I've had a close friendship, but still this news felt like a blow to my very center. My thoughts and prayers go out to him and his family; my thoughts and prayers also go within my soul. Life is so very short. There isn't enough time ever to let yourself be sad or miserable. Why does it take this kind of devastating news to remember that? For this friend, a bit of a blessing from my favorite, John O'Donohue's, To Bless This Space Between Us...

"Now is the time of dark invitation
Beyond a frontier you did not expect,
Abruptly your old life seems distant....

When the reverberations of shock subside in you,
May grace come to restore you to balance.
May it shape a new space in your heart
To embrace this illness as a teacher
Who has come to open your life to new worlds...

May you be granted the courage and vision
To work through passivity and self-pity,
To see the beauty you can harvest
From the riches of this dark invitation..."

A Forgotten Saint

This is Sainte Tulle, patron saint of Cucuron, a tiny village nestled deep in Provence. She reigns over l'eglise Notre-Dame-de-Beaulieu, the church of our Lady of the beautiful place. According to legend, Sainte Tulle protected the village from the plague of 1720; according to Catholic Online, she doesn't exist as a saint. Forgotten by the world, Ste. Tulle is remembered only by a handful of people who owe the existence of their village to her divine intercession. Tonight's homily referenced another saint, also forgotten. Elizabeth challenged us with these verses from Acts 1:15-17, 21-26 which say, in part..."and the lot fell on Matthias; and he was added to the eleven apostles." Have you ever heard of Matthias? Me neither. I had a moment of guilt, maybe I slept through that Sunday School lesson? But then I noticed that no one else in the congregation knew who Matthias was either. He replaced Judas as the twelfth apostle, yet he is never mentioned again in the New Testament and most Christians have never heard of him. Like Ste. Tulle, his name lies moldering in the ancient history of the church. Does that make him unimportant though? Absolutely not. As Elizabeth explained, he touched lives with his ministry of the Good News of Christ just as Ste. Tulle touched the lives of the villagers of Cucuron. There may well be people alive today who are Christians because of each of these forgotten saints. And Elizabeth's point was this: each of us touches others with our ministry of the Good News. An act of loving-kindness, a moment of forgiveness, a smile of welcome, a simple "I'll remember you in my prayers" may be the brief spark of God's grace that turns a life around or opens a heart to God. No one will remember, no one may even know, but God does. He works through all of us 'forgotten saints' to spread love in His world.

My God

"I come to you this morning with praise & song
Praise for the beauty of Creation,
Praise for peace, reconciliation, harmony,
Praise for your work in the world.
I sing your praise in hymn, in songs of the people,
in great orchestral composition.
All music sings praise to God."



Excerpt from my poem, My God, written 3/08