Acedia

Mary's homily tonight was on some verses in Mark that talk about Jesus casting out a demon from a man in the temple. She didn't speak to this miracle, but rather to the demon itself, specifically the demon called 'acedia.'

Acedia was one of the original 8 deadly thoughts that eventually became the seven deadly sins. Acedia was the only demon that dared show itself in the light of day; it usually came out around noon and was also known as the 'noon day demon.' While some refer to acedia today as sloth, it's really different than sloth or mere depression. It's more a lethargy of the spirit, a not caring, a restless boredom. It was first identified by heremitic monks and is still seen in those who live a solitary life. This is a fascinating concept to me because I think it defines how I currently feel....not depressed, but not able to find joy in a lot of life. I live too much inside my own head much like the early desert monks did. I first read this word in "The Cloister Walk" by Kathleen Norris. Mary's reference to acedia came from Norris' newest book "Acedia and Me." What resonates with me now after hearing Mary's sermon is that once a problem can be named, it can be fixed! I'm not just weird; I'm like thousands of other spiritual seekers who live solitary lives and think 'way too much. Norris offers advice on how to defeat this 'demon.' Her method: prayer, writing, and caring for others. I think those things are a good start for me as well.

My Prayer for Barack

I watched the inauguration of President Obama with hope in my heart and a prayer on my lips. Like thousands of others, I pray that our new president will lead us out of this quagmire of a shattered economy and a shattered world reputation. I pray that he will surround himself with wise counsel and continue to make decisions in his very deliberate, well thought out and graceful manner. And I also pray for Barack Obama, the man, the husband and father. As I watched him gather Michelle up in his arms for the first dance at the Inaugural Ball, I could see the love they have for each other. Yes, he was the most powerful man in the free world in that moment, but in that moment he had eyes only for the woman he loves. I watched him talk with Sasha and Melia and saw that he was full of love for these delightful little girls as well. So, my prayer for Barack, the man, is that he never forget the love he shares with his family; that he puts power into perspective and doesn't let it tarnish his integrity as it so often does with powerful men. That he continues to balance his life so that family remains important, that taking care of himself physically and spiritually has a place in his life. And that at the end of his presidency, he can look at Michelle, Sasha and Melia with that same powerful love and say to himself: "I took care of my country, but most importantly, I took care of my family."

I think America will cut him all the slack he needs to accomplish that goal.

Photo Album

I've added a link to the photos that Fr. Peni shared with us. Click here to see them

In the Face of Danger

I'm still digesting last evening's church service and homily delivered by Fr. Samuel Peni, an ordained Episcopal priest from Sudan. His sermon was about hearing and heeding God's call in our lives; more on that in another post. After the service, Fr. Peni showed a few slides and talked a bit about Sudan, especially southern Sudan where he has his parish in the Yambio Diocese. Many things to think about...lack of schools, dismal literacy rate, poor and absent healthcare facilities, poor nutrition, lack of clean water, and a very complicated political environment that has not been much improved by a tenuous peace agreement that will be in effect for only another two years. What really hit home to me, though, was the dangerous environment in which he and his family live. Civil war rages throughout the countryside. He told a story of his wife gathering up their six children in the middle of the night and fleeing to the bush to hide from a group of marauding soldiers. He talked about the Lord's Resistance Army that marches boldly across the border from Uganda maiming and killing. The picture above is from a protest in Yambio against these atrocities. He spoke of his own life being in danger because he dares to speak out and tell the truth about what is happening in Sudan.. While he is in the United States studying for the school year, his family is in Uganda because it's not safe for them to stay in Sudan while he is away. When he was asked what he'll do after he finishes his Master's degree, he didn't hesitate: "I will go back to Sudan to my church. It's home." Fr. Peni is a quiet, soft-spoken man, a devout Christian, and a loving and caring husband and father, yet he and his family will return to the danger and hardship of his war-torn country. I worried about this as I fell asleep last night; I was worrying about it still this morning as I opened my daily devotional, The Upper Room. As He frequently does, God left a message for me there.

The message is that nothing...not hardships, not governments, not things to come, not even death...can "separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Fr. Peni believes this, and it makes him strong in the face of danger. Am I faithful enough to believe it too?

Whatever Happened to Joseph?

Sometimes in the midst of my morning devotions or the Saturday evening service at church, I'm surprised by a word or a question that suddenly leaps to the forefront of my consciousness. Frequently the word is one that I've read many, many times, but this time I'm puzzled by it; what does it mean, really? Occasionally a story or a piece of Scripture that is as familiar to me as my own name becomes mysteriously new; what does this story mean, really? Verses or parables that previously seemed complete now appear to be lacking something...a piece of information or an explanation about the culture of the times that might give an entirely different meaning to the lesson. I experienced just such a moment this week as I was eating breakfast. I was admiring this figurine of the Holy Family that sits on my table (yes, I know it's 'way past Christmas, but I like it a lot!). I've seen hundreds of images of this Holy Family over the years, yet suddenly I was puzzled by this question: whatever happened to Joseph? He had to have been an integral part of Jesus and Mary's life, yet other than mention of him in the Mark and Luke Nativity stories, he's nowhere to be found. My Oxford Concise Concordance lists other Josephs to be sure: Joseph of the many-colored coat, Joseph of Arimethea, a Joseph in Acts, but not Joseph of Christ's earthly family. Maybe someone talked about this in Sunday School 101 on a day I wasn't there, and I never heard the story? Do you know the story? Share it with me if you do. Whatever happened to Joseph?

A New Tradition

I entered the church in the rapidly gathering dusk, a bit breathless after the rushed dash from work to arrive in time for the New Year's Eve service. Not being a party kind of New Year's celebrator, I was intrigued by the idea of welcoming the new year in a different way. The sanctuary lights were dimmed; all the altar candles flickered in the quiet church. The two tall trees flanking the altar were lit with their tiny white lights.A handful of people were scattered among the pews. I recognized everyone from the Saturday evening 'regulars.' Karen walked up and down the center aisle, lighting the candles held high overhead by tall, wooden candlesticks. I knelt and quieted my heart and mind to match the hush within the sanctuary. At the stroke of 5pm Elizabeth began the service which reminded me of a Christmas service of Lessons and Carols. Bible passages were read followed by a psalm or canticle, a prayer, and then a moment of quiet. The passages reflected God's instructions from the beginning...the Ten Commandments...to the end...verses from Revelations. Elizabeth's homily invited us to mark this time of transistion with the ritual of pausing to reflect on the past before moving into the future; to acknowledge the trials of 2008, as well as the possibilities of 2009; and to know that in life with God through Christ, we are blessed with grace no matter what the external circumstances are in the world. We took several minutes to reflect in silence what this meant to each of us. Although the silence was immense, almost palpable, it felt very warm and full of love as this small group joined in community to seek God's will for our lives. Since we were a small group, Elizabeth invited us to come forward together for the Holy Eucharist. We circled the table, and we each offered communion to our neighbor. It was a powerful expression of God's love. And a powerful way to end the old year before moving into the new. I hope to make this a New Year's tradition.

Where Does God Wait?

In the thin places where

dark meets light.

In the sharp lines of shadow

that outline the old adobe church.

In the smear of light against a

starless sky at moonrise.

He's there...waiting..in the

dark, striated gullies of tree bark

sheltering a core of life within.

God dances up a stair-stepped roofline

silhouetted against the white hot desert sky.

He ripples in the ribbons of dark and light

rising to the edge then

falling into the blackness beyond.

God rides the wind-whipped clouds

feathered across the blue-black heavens,

He swirls in bubbles of frothy foam

eddying around boulders in the Merced.

Penetrating the inky shoreline

He pokes icy white frozen fingers

deep into the land.

Where shadow meets sunlight...

Where light rubs up against dark...

In these thin spaces no bigger than a whisper,

God is....waiting.

I'm Back!

My computer is fixed and I just got it re-connected. Look for a new posting soon!