Luncheon of the Boating Party

The Nap

Drowsy with words I lay curled so the sun shines on my face.
Streaming past bare tree branches
Through south facing windows,
It warms my closed eyes.

Cheery accordion music tinkles faintly from the stereo
Bringing to mind Renoir-Luncheon of the Boating Party-
Laughing, drinking, eating along the Seine
Paris, March 2006.

Reverie softens my lips, relaxes tense muscles and mind
Prickling my eyelids, a teardrop brushes through lowered lashes.
Purring contentedly like a cat into sleep,
I sigh and drift and smile.

Ash Wednesday

As I frequently do on my drive into work, I spent some time in prayer this morning. It was early, still dark, as I pulled out onto the highway leading into St. Charles. My intention was to attend the 7am Ash Wednesday service at church for the imposition of ashes and still be on time for an 8:15am meeting at work. To squeeze this all in, I had abbreviated my normal morning routine, rushed around, and prioritized my mental to-do list. I was already fretting about being late when I decided that I needed to calm my spirit and quiet my mind in preparation for this solemn service. Deep breath, let it all out, talk to God. The oncoming car flashed its lights to high beams as it zoomed past me. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I cried. I wasn't concentrating on driving, and I'm sure my lights on high beam were blinding him. I returned to my prayer only to slam on my brakes a mile further on as a deer crossed the road right in front of me. "I'm sorry, God, I've got to focus on driving. I'm too busy to pray anymore." I couldn't help thinking how often this happens. Life gets in the way of quiet moments with God; the world distracts our focus from our spiritual life.

I actually arrived in plenty of time to kneel and pray before the service began. It undoubtedly was important to concentrate on driving, not praying on this dark winter morning. I left the service feeling peaceful, quiet, and focused on God's will for my day. I wish I could tell you that this feeling persisted throughout my hectic work day. Alas, it did not. In fact, less than a half hour after I got to the hospital, I was back at it...fretting, being busy and rushed, trying to get too many things done at once, feeling irritable. I've decided that my Lenten discipline this year will be to spend more time each day doing God's work and a lot less time worrying about the work of the world.

Waiting for Spring

Waiting for Spring

Crusty smears of dirty snow linger in the creases and crevices of the frozen fields.
Dead brown weeds lie flattened in the ditches and gullies where snow banked deep.
The day is bright, but the sun rays from the watery blue sky only lukewarm my leg.
The other leg feels the icy north wind.
It’s beyond crisp, the other side of chilly;
It’s knifing cold against both thigh and face.
Lucie races ahead to sniff every exotic aroma,
even the iron-hard ground holds secret scents for her sensitive nose.
My slower human legs struggle to catch up.
The Canadas complain loudly as we walk by.
We disturb them, but not enough to make them fly from the small patch of open water they’ve found in the marsh.
Complaints recede to low mutterings as they discuss which farmer’s field to glean for supper.
Under the frozen tracks and ruts, new life counts the hours, numbers the days, measures the degrees of warmth.
The naked trees silhouette against the wan afternoon light.
Tips of tiny branches swell slightly.
Not yet, but soon…
Waiting for spring.

22 February 2009

Hungry Flock

St. Timothy's has revived its "Hungry Flock" dinners; last night was the first gathering. A group of us met at our hosts' home for a lovely potluck dinner and fellowship. While the food was great, the real nourishment of the evening came from the social interaction and bonds of community that we began to form over good food and wine. There are countless references to God's flock throughout the Bible. From Genesis to 1 Peter in the New Testament, flocks of sheep are used as a metaphor for God's people. And as God's people, we are hungry for His word in our lives and to be part of His community of faith. What better way to do these things than inside the spiritual practice of hospitality? As Ana Maria Pineda states in Practicing Our Faith, "...offering hospitality is a moral imperative." God expects us to welcome the stranger; sharing a meal with those within our church whom we don't know is a way to welcome all into the community of faith at St. Timothy's. And growing and strengthening our faith community is vital to doing God's work not only within the fellowship of the church, but also outside the church walls as we take God's love into the world.

I expect as we continue to gather for monthly dinners that friendships will grow, and we'll realize synergies of faith that will enrich our spiritual lives and provide us with opportunities to serve.

Lay Eucharistic Ministry

I met with Mary after church last evening. She invited me to participate in St. Timothy's Lay Eucharistic Ministry program. This is a handful of church people who take the Holy Eucharist to people who are unable to attend services because they are sick or in the hospital or nursing home, or because they are temporarily disabled. It's an important lay ministry because Mary's busy schedule doesn't allow her to visit everyone. She explained what this entails and we went over the service; it's much like our 5pm service only a bit abbreviated. I am honored to be asked to help with this. I feel that Communion is such an intimate way to be connected with God and also with my community of faith. And it will be a privilege for me to share in this intimate ritual with others. I will partner with another experienced person until I'm comfortable doing this on my own. As Mary said, this is not a ministry for everyone. It's important to feel comfortable around folks who are ill, disabled, confused. Being a nurse, those things are part of my profession, I came home, googled LEM, and found a couple of books on amazon.com to help me learn about being a lay eucharistic minister.

God's Puzzle

This is a 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle that I've been working on since the holidays. I finally got it put together last Sunday. Up until the final few pieces, I was absolutely convinced that there were pieces missing. I searched several weeks for a few of them. One I found under a couch cushion; a couple of others were tangled up in the fringe of my couch throw. I was sure some pieces were simply wrong for the available spot. In desperation I'd try them and...they'd fit. It was painful, but I was determined to complete the picture and I did. The lessons I learned from putting this puzzle together seem to be a metaphor for my spiritual life.

The most important thing I learned was that I needed the right kind of light coming from the right angle to adequately see the colors and patterns of the puzzle picture. God is my Light; it's only when I put Him in the right place that I can see my life as it should be.

Viewing this puzzle from different perspectives changed how the pieces and the empty places looked. If I sat on the couch, everything was at an angle; if I knelt beside the table, I was too close to one side and too far from the other. Only when I stood up and looked down from a broader perspective, could I place the missing pieces. Looking at life from God's perspective is necessary as well.

Lastly, I learned to try even the pieces that I was convinced wouldn't fit. God's answers to my prayers are a lot like that. I doubt that they will work; I put off trying them because I'm not sure I heard Him correctly. When I relax, remain open and let God in, His answers are always the right ones.

Who knew that putting together a jigsaw puzzle could be such a spiritual experience?

A Theme of Solitude

It seems that God has theme going on for me this weekend. At yesterday's prayer group, I discussed what solitude means to me in the context of making intentional time to be with God on a routine basis. Our study book, "Out of Solitude" referenced verses in the New Testament, Mark 1:32-39. Last evening Elizabeth's homily was based on these same verses including verses 29-31. And like our study group, Elizabeth focused not on the miracles of healing, but on the short quiet sentence in between the action which tells us that Jesus left the group and went away, alone, to pray. Again the theme was taking time to be with God in solitude. She expanded on this theme to include being balanced in all of our lives by not only taking time to be with God, but also taking time to replenish our minds and bodies emotionally and physically. Last night I picked up another of Nouwen's books, "The Way of the Heart" that speaks about the spirituality of the desert Fathers and Mothers. Again...solitude was front and center, this time explaining the need for those in the ministry to withdraw from the world periodically to get in touch with God again.

I'm astute enough to realize that God is sending me a message here; I don't have a clue what it means. I'll continue to read and study, tho, and seek His meaning for me in this theme.

Solitude

The prayer group at church is reading this powerful little book by Henri J.M. Nouwen. It contains three meditations on important parts of a life of faith. This morning we talked about the first meditation on solitude. Quoting New Testament scripture, Nouwen reminds me that even in the most action-packed times in Jesus' life, Jesus took time to go out alone to meditate and pray. If this time of being alone was so important to Jesus, how much more important is it to me? As the discussion ebbed and flowed, my thoughts began to crystallize about just what solitude is for me. I live alone, my life is not packed full of the multiple commitments that many people have, yet this alone time is not solitude. For me, solitude is intentional; it is structured time that I spend with God. It is time in prayer, in meditation, in appreciation and praise for His creation. My times of solitude have a beginning and an end. The time in between is filled with intention whether that be prayer for others, asking for forgiveness for my sins and shortcomings, praising my Creator, or simply sitting in silence, listening for God to reveal Himself. In this in-between time, the world slips away, and Iam focused instead on spirit.