Ash Wednesday

As I frequently do on my drive into work, I spent some time in prayer this morning. It was early, still dark, as I pulled out onto the highway leading into St. Charles. My intention was to attend the 7am Ash Wednesday service at church for the imposition of ashes and still be on time for an 8:15am meeting at work. To squeeze this all in, I had abbreviated my normal morning routine, rushed around, and prioritized my mental to-do list. I was already fretting about being late when I decided that I needed to calm my spirit and quiet my mind in preparation for this solemn service. Deep breath, let it all out, talk to God. The oncoming car flashed its lights to high beams as it zoomed past me. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I cried. I wasn't concentrating on driving, and I'm sure my lights on high beam were blinding him. I returned to my prayer only to slam on my brakes a mile further on as a deer crossed the road right in front of me. "I'm sorry, God, I've got to focus on driving. I'm too busy to pray anymore." I couldn't help thinking how often this happens. Life gets in the way of quiet moments with God; the world distracts our focus from our spiritual life.

I actually arrived in plenty of time to kneel and pray before the service began. It undoubtedly was important to concentrate on driving, not praying on this dark winter morning. I left the service feeling peaceful, quiet, and focused on God's will for my day. I wish I could tell you that this feeling persisted throughout my hectic work day. Alas, it did not. In fact, less than a half hour after I got to the hospital, I was back at it...fretting, being busy and rushed, trying to get too many things done at once, feeling irritable. I've decided that my Lenten discipline this year will be to spend more time each day doing God's work and a lot less time worrying about the work of the world.