A Portal to the Passion

In her homily yesterday evening, Mary referred to Palm Sunday as the 'portal' to the week of Jesus' Passion. Portals or doors have a way of opening and closing according to God's plan, not mine. This lovely door, a portal to a Provencal home, did not open to me when I visited France; God definitely opened the portal to Holy Week for me through Mary's sermon and the liturgy last evening, though. How many times have I heard the Easter story? So many, yet last evening for the first time I felt as if I were there. First, in the triumphal crowd cheering Jesus, then as Peter denying Him. I traveled with the crowd to Golgotha and scorned Jesus with the rest. Yet, in the end, I stood with the centurion who acknowledged this Jesus as 'truly the son of God.' As Mary said, standing at the foot of the cross is not easy and to get there we must walk with Jesus through this week of Passion. It is an emotional time for Christians.

A Prayerful Experience

I experienced a unique prayer opportunity this past Tuesday. I belong to the St. Timothy's prayer group which means I receive prayer requests from our faith community and include them in my daily prayer practice. One of the other things the prayer group does is send a representative to the church's monthly Vestry meeting. The Vestry in the Episcopal Church is like the Presbyterian Session or the Methodist Church Board...they are the elected members of the congregation who assist the Rector in running the business of the church. These were my instructions from Bev:
"The vestry meets in the chapel where the prayer group gathers.
Arrive a little early…grab a chair and find a comfortable spot a bit away from the
meeting…or sit in a nearby Sunday School room.If you need help getting
settled…ask Karen Voss or one of the clergy.
Bring along a Bible,
Prayer Book or other God-centered reading. Invite God’s presence and guidance at
the meeting and then you can read for a while. I especially enjoy reading the
evening prayer and Compline services at vestry meetings."

I wondered if it would feel strange to be there sort of 'lurking' outside the meeting, but still within earshot. It didn't feel weird at all; I felt very engaged even though I really couldn't hear much of the discussion. I could tell when they would begin a new topic and each time I would pray for God to support them and guide their decisions. I did read both the Vespers and the Compline services in the Book of Common Prayer; I also prayed for each individual member of the group to be open to God's words for them. It felt like I was a intimate part of the gathering with an important gift to offer.

I couldn't help but think how comforting it would be to have someone praying for me during the painful meetings that I both attend and preside over at work. While I always ask God for guidance, I would feel so strengthened by the prayers of another during those stressful times.

This is a little story that Bev included in her email instructions:

"Prayer Representative at Vestry Meetings: When my little grandson, Benjamin, was 3 years old he would put a stuffed animal in the doorway of his bedroom before he jumped into bed. When I asked my son about this he said that Benjamin was afraid of wolves but when he posted a stuffed animal there by the door to watch and protect him from the wolves he was able to sleep peacefully. This is kind of like a prayer representative at a vestry meeting. We go and pray and watch and ask God to join us in watching and to provide protection and guidance. There is more peace for everyone knowing that there is a team there watching and protecting against wolves and other bad dogs that might be lurking."

Is It Thunder or an Angel I Hear?

The Gospel reading at church this evening was from John 12:20-33. It speaks of Jesus' foreshadowing his death to the crowd at Bethany and is the preview for the Passion which is to come. As Mary was reading, however, the story wasn't what called my attention. Buried within the story are words that made me catch my breath.... "Then a voice came from heaven, "I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again." The crowd standing by heard it and said that it had thundered. Others said, "An angel has spoken to him." Some heard thunder; others heard the words of God's angel. It made me stop and wonder. How many times have I missed God's voice? How many times have I dismissed His words as only noise or distractions or silly thoughts? Was it God's angel that whispered in my dreams? Was that crazy idea I had the result of too little sleep or too much sugar? What if He speaks and I don't recognize His voice? I worry about that a lot and pray that He will be patient with me....and repetitive!

Is it thunder or is that an angel I hear?

Snakes

Elizabeth preached on an interesting combination of scriptures last evening. The verses from John 3: 14-21 were both familiar and comforting as they contain the famous verse John 3:16..."For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." As Elizabeth said this is probably the most memorized verse in the Bible, and it pops up everywhere...on roadside signs, at ball games, on bumper stickers. But have you ever paid attention to verse 14 that introduces it: "And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness..." The reading from Numbers 21:4-9 explained

what John was referencing. In Numbers the Israelites were whining...again. As they wandered in the wilderness, they became discouraged and began to doubt God. First they whined about no food, then about lack of water, and then they didn't like the food they had. Whine, whine, whine. So what did God do...He sent poisonous snakes, fiery serpents. Of course, they didn't like that either since several of them died when bitten. Like contrite children, they asked Moses to tell God that they were sorry, they wouldn't whine anymore, and couldn't He take the serpents away? I'm sure Moses really hated petitioning God once again on behalf of the whiners, but he did. And what did God do? He told Moses to make a bronze snake and put it on a stick. He did not take the snakes away, but he told the people that if they would turn and look at the bronze snake, they would not die from being bitten. It must have worked since in the next verses, the people of Israel set out again on their journey.

What does this all have to do with me? Do I not spend the majority of my time in prayer whining to God about how unhappy I am with my life? asking for him to show me his will for me? begging for God to make my dreams come true? Don't I feel overwhelmed by the world and the forces in it that make me uncomfortable? Are these not my 'snakes?' Is God going to take them away? No...but he is going to send Elizabeth to me with her sermon reminding me that if I look to God, he will stand by me. The 'snakes' won't poison or kill me if I keep my focus where it should be...on the one who made me, who loves me, and who promises to always be with me.

Prayer Beads

I'm such a visual person that when I saw these Anglican prayer beads, I knew I had to try them. I thought seeing the beads would help me focus my thoughts on God; closing my eyes when I pray works briefly but soon I find my thoughts drifting. Of course, anyone who prays with beads realizes that they are not to look at, lovely as they are. I soon discovered their real beauty and meaning lies in touching them. Whether I pray the prayers that came with them or my own prayers, I'm reminded of God at each bead. As I feel the shape and texture of each bead with my fingers, I think of the body and blood of Christ When I begin praying, the beautiful Celtic cross and all the beads are cool to the touch; by the time I finish they are warm and almost feel soft in my hand. They become God's comforting presence. Yes, I know they are metal and plastic, not living things. But I also know that God lives everywhere in my world. Why not in my prayer beads?

I ordered the beads from the White Street Bead Co. which I found through the Companions of St. Luke website. The Abbey of St. Benedict is located about 3 hours southeast of where I live. I intend to visit it sometime spring. They rest here on my little Book of Common Prayer that Mary gave me during our first pastoral session. I read from it daily. During this Lenten season, it is the basis of my discipline of praying the hours. It has become a blessing in my life.

"The Blood of Christ; the Cup of Salvation"

Last night I served God at the 5pm service of the Holy Eucharist. I read from Genesis, directed others to read the Psalm with me, and served the 'blood of Christ, the cup of salvation' during the Holy Eucharist. It was a privilege and a sacred, intimate way to not only serve God, but also to serve my community of faith. I'm so glad I was asked. This past week I read a meditation from a book of Lay Eucharistic Minister's meditations that said the church looks different from the other side of the altar rail. And it did. To me, this view completes my picture of God...looking one way, I see the cross, the altar, the priest and God's light and word. Looking the other way, I see the face of God's community of faith...the church... and the work of God in the world. One view completes the other.

The reading from Genesis was about God's covenant with Abraham and His directions to both Abraham and Sarah which came so late in their lives. Elizabeth preached about this...how difficult it must have been for Abraham at age 99 to follow God's will for his life and to become a father when Sarah at age 90 bore him a child. I fret a lot about being too old to follow my dreams. Maybe I should heed these words from the Old Testament and rest in the knowledge that with God all things are possible.

Praying the Hours

I blogged on Ash Wednesday that my discipline for Lent would be something that made God more of a focus in my life. I gave this a lot of thought prior to the beginning of Lent and decided I would 'pray the hours.' Mary directed me to a place in the Book of Common Prayer that has daily devotions arranged by the 'hours' i.e. morning, noon, vespers (evening) and close of day. It's been my practice to pray in the morning and at bedtime. The other two times have been more of a challenge. I've found it soothing to take 10 minutes or so after I arrive home from work to sit with God. I follow the directions for Vespers by lighting a candle and sitting quietly before I pray. Afterwards I try to sit a few more minutes in silence....listening for God. That's hard for me. But the hardest time to pray seems to be at noon. I get so wrapped up in my day that I simply forget. All the more reason to stop and re-center on God! He is so much more important than my job. I find that even when I remember to pray, it's very difficult to be still and listen. Truly, this will be a good discipline for me during the coming weeks. And hopefully, it will be a practice that I will be able to continue when Lent is over.