Holy Spirit

"Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in us the fire of your love."

I took this picture in a Paris church. I lit candles and whispered prayers for those I love more than once as I explored the churches of Paris. In St.-Germain-des-Pres I lit a candle to Ste. Anne and prayed for the well-being of my friend, Anne. I lit a tiny votive in Notre Dame and prayed for my family. What is it about lighting candles? I know that the Catholic Church has its own explanation for why Catholics do this, but why do I participate in this ritual so foreign to my Protestant upbringing? I believe the answer is in the Holy Spirit Prayer above: lighting a candle is symbolic of the Spirit's kindling the fire in my heart and expressing the love of God. As Bev said in her note: 'I pray that your experience at St. Timothy's has helped to kindle the fire of God's love in you.'

It has...amen.

Envelope #2

"For nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:37. Bev wants me to know that "I do believe that nothing is impossible with God and that God doesn't call the qualified...God qualifies those called. Whatever God is calling you to do...He will help to make it happen." What is God calling me to do? I feel very called to become a member of St. Timothy's. I also feel called to be of service in some way; God hasn't pushed me in the exact direction of that just yet. He does continue to nudge me to write and create with words. When I dream of ways to write for a living, to live a literary life in France and to spend time with family in Montana, I come up with deadends and obstacles, and a myriad of reasons why that will never happen. Then I look at my photos of the beautiful, soaring stained glass windows of Ste. Chapelle. Who would have thought man could create such beauty? Did the artisans who created these wonderful three story works of art question whether they would be able to complete this magnificent project? Did they feel qualified to do God's work in the world? All things are possible with God!

An Everlasting Rock

I received an envelope in Friday's mail that contained 5 sealed smaller envelopes. I opened the envelope labeled #1 and found a Bible verse on a square of yellow paper accompanied by a slip of paper bearing a note from Bev, the woman who chairs the Prayer Group at church. Bev had offered to be my prayer partner as I move towards being received in the church on Dec. 7th. My first prayer was based on Isaiah 26:4 "Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock." My message from Bev: "The everlasting Rock is a firm foundation for your life. The wise woman builds her house upon the Rock...and I believe that you are a wise woman." As I meditated on those words, this photo came to mind. This house in Goult is built firmly on the bedrock of the mountain. See how strong it looks. It feels eternally supported by the rock it rests on. The house seamlessly becomes one with its foundation, its rock. This is what I want my faith to become....strong, firm, eternal, resting on my Rock, secure that I am doing His will in the world, feeling seamlessly at one with my Creator.

Doubt

My daily routine includes time each morning to journal and read a brief devotion. I especially like weekend mornings as I have the luxury of time to really dig into my thoughts. Today, however, my journal could have been written by my favorite disciple, Peter. I wrote three questions to myself and after each question...'doubtful!' While I didn't actually deny that God is able to help me accomplish anything, I wasn't as strong in my faith as I should have been. Then I moved on to the devotion from Mark 4:35-41. It's the story of Jesus and the disciples being caught in a boat in a huge storm. The disciples are fearful until Jesus commands the sea and wind to "be still." Then He scolds the group saying..."Why are you afraid? Have you no faith.?" Like Peter, when I'm afraid, I begin to doubt and deny. I forget that God works miracles every day. This morning God 'whispered' to me once again through my words and through the words of Scripture...don't doubt, have faith, there's no need to fear. I'm holding you.

Defintion of God

What is God?
God is Beauty, is Creation, is Love
Is Truth, is Light is Hope, Is Comfort, is Justice

Greet the Day!

I read someplace that it's good to greet each new day with a positive attitude. The Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh recommends that upon awakening, a person should smile, thus setting the tone for a pleasant day. I find it hard to smile when I'm barely awake, but I do try to remember to murmur...."This is a day that the LORD hath made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." (Psalm 118:24 KJV) While I always believe that the LORD made the day, some days it's very hard to rejoice and be glad. I keep trying, though.

How I Got From There to Here

Last Christmas I was talking with a friend about my need to read something light. I had just finished reading "The Innocent Man" by John Grisham, and although it was a really good book, it was also very tense and dark. She suggested that I try Jan Karon's "Mitford" books...so I did. And was immediately hooked! I read them all. One thing in every book that delighted me was Father Timothy's ability to pray so beautifully and eloquently. Maybe it was something about being Episcopalian??? I've shared that I've been on a spiritual search, and this seemed like a 'sign.' I Googled Episcopal churches in the central Iowa region and found 3 or 4 listed. But the one that caught my eye was St. Timothy's Episcopal Church in West Des Moines. The name plus the fact that they had 3 services spanning Saturday and Sunday appealed to me. I love having a choice. I made my first visit in March and have attended regularly since. I knew very little about Episcopalians before this year, but I can tell you that even though I've been a member of both Methodist and Presbyterian churches, this church feels like home. It totally makes sense to me. I love the traditions and liturgy; the people of the church community are geniunely friendly and hospitable; the church does good stuff in the community. It feels like home enough that I will be received by the Bishop into the church on Dec. 7th. Who knew a novel recommended by a friend would lead me to from 'there to here?'

Poem of One-ness

8/25/06

There are times—usually in the soft stillness of a starlit night—
When I feel a sense of one-ness with all Creation.
I hold my breath wanting not even the slight movement or the sound of breathing
To interrupt the quiet and the magic spell of God’s Spirit.
That Spirit holds me enraptured with the trees and leaves, the deer and fawn,
The night birds and crickets.
We all soak in Gods’ love and peace and
Collectively exist by His Grace.Together we sigh and sing praise

Dona Nobis Pacem

For the past several years I've been on a spiritual search. I won't use the word 'journey' because it's a word that has been so over-used recently that it truly turns me off. I see myself as more of a seeker anyway....someone who is seeking meaning in what seems like a very meaningless world. Today I had an epiphany. It suddenly struck me that chronicling my discoveries and thoughts would be a good way of making sense of it all, and voila, this blog was born. Dona Nobis Pacem translates to 'give us peace.' It's also a piece of music that our church choir sang as a round one Advent season. I love the 16th century music as well as the message it conveys. Check back often...I'll be sharing thoughts, questions, poetry and images about things that push my spiritual buttons.